Ideal insta-family: what is not visible on the photos of mummies on Instagram
Photographer Maria Rozhkova talks about how much truth is in stylish and cheerful pictures of insta-mums, and whether happy parenthood is necessary to be glossy.
Leaf through instagram tape.
Here is a baby in a cute animal print pajamas lying in the folds of a white blanket, lit by the first rays of the Sunday sun. Here he is sitting at the table and intently picking at ripe seasonal fruits, elegantly laid out on a designer plate (top view). Or she drinks an indecent pink smoothie from a stylish bottle and rushes to go on a new ram down the summer park.
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Here the kid enthusiastically draws funny pictures with finger paints and sculpts blue clay of penguin from plasticine, over which all mother's friends are touched in the comments.Here he helps to bake banana muffins, sprinkled with flour from head to toe, or transplants cute little flowers into cute little pots with a pretty little spoon (again, top view).
And then he jumps up from the table, grabs his favorite wooden toy and becomes against the background of a bright wall. So that it was convenient to photograph.
Leaf through instagram further.
Already the familiar baby is going with his mother to the Most Unusual Playground in the city center, where he accidentally meets his three-year-old best friends, rides a catamaran, feeds swans, eats colorful ice cream, learns to ride an adult skateboard. In the evening, they go to the City Fair, where there are a lot of game activities, fun photo zones with flags and kids-friendly cafes with a children's menu.
Then he sits down with his mother at the table, with an appetite eating rumpled syrniki, smiles with his mouth full in a new hand-made hat and gently hugs me. Me? Like this?
Wait a minute. This baby is my son. And my instagram. But I hardly know my own life. Because the photos are not visible much.
I can not see how I get tired during the day at work and take my son away from my grandmother, unable to play or even talk to him. Can not see my non-pedagogical outbursts of anger and response insult son.
You can not see the food scattered under the table, the failed soup, dirty clothes, broken front wheelchairs and an unpleasant hike to the children's dentist.
In my instragram profile, there is no postpartum depression, which I treat with pills. There is no morning when I am not able to tear my head off the pillow, and my son wants to eat, play and communicate.
You can not see the evening when the son is already sleeping in an embrace with his beloved panda, and I need to do business. It's good that it's already dark, otherwise I would go to him, sleeping with a panda, to take pictures.
I can not see how I, before falling into a dream, flipping through the tape of instagram.
And ta-a-am - young tanned mums have dinner with three children and a caring husband on the veranda of their own house, under the shadow of a cozy burning garland. They make a brunch with friends. They go to work with their children and manage to do a manicure, conduct independent business and become pregnant with the fourth child, spend several months a year at sea, participate in start-ups, walk around fashionable city festivals, revealing stylish tattoos. They move with children to live in another country or take them on a long business trip.
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Okay, even those who, for various reasons, almost never go anywhere and live more modestly, even those who have not five children, but one - also fit perfectly into the general flow of happy childhood and parenthood in Instagram.
Children in cute clothes walk in Gorky Park, measure adult sunglasses, dance in the meadow. The kids sleep and do not shout from colic, the toddlers calmly carry the road, do not get confused in the garlands on the verandah, don’t take linen tablecloths along with all the ceramics off the table, they themselves play something very developing and magical for a long time.
Kids on Instagram generally do something very cute and funny. And it seems that they never part with their parents.
It seems that there, in someone else's happy profile, only joy, love, lightness, good mood and beauty.
And the next day, a little-familiar person comes up to me at a party or meets me on a walk with my son: “Hello! Listen, I look at your instagram, you are so cool with your son, go everywhere together, do some transcendent beauty, play. And you also work, and draw flowers, and you manage to communicate with friends. It seems you only have joy, lightness and love. ”
It turns out I'm from the same.Of the same - happy parents with happy children on Instagram. Is that subscribers are much less than the popular Insta bloggers.
It doesn’t matter that I leave my son and grandmother 4 days a week, I spend my last strength on games, I take my child to the sea once a year for only 2 weeks, I consider myself the worst mother in the world and I drink serious sedatives. This is not visible.
Here I think. Probably, happy families with three children also have problems. Probably, their life consists not only of stylish children's clothes, video blogs, travels in Scandinavia, gluten-free cookies, hugs in the morning, funny children's tricks and non-stop family creativity. Probably, they also have insecurity in their work, difficulties in communication, searching for a nanny, traffic jams on the way to the region, broken circles, disobedient teenagers, fatigue and fear.
What is it, happiness on the other side of instagram? This photo is not visible.
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Therefore, we, not around the clock "happy and successful parents," in sadness. And it seems that only we have household, financial and personal difficulties. On this side.And for that - all this is not.
And we (I am so sure) are drawn to a pleasant image. If mom is happy. If the children are capable. If the husband is caring and near. If friends are the same. If vacation is easy. If breakfast is good. If the toys are unusual. If the baby is sleeping. If the student is in a backpack with a chanterelle.
We (I’m sure) become hostages of the visual image of happy children and happy mother. Happy family in general. In my opinion, it does not go very well.
The big and bright image of Happy Parenting, which surrounds us in all social networks, makes "not enough happy" moms feel bad moms, worry about that they do not have time all, do not go to the sea, do not find time to put on the table (in time to cook), they walk in the yard instead of a steep platform and are not going to give birth to a second one (they would cope with the first one).
But in order to make your motherhood in your own eyes not so hopeless, they still take the phone and try to catch some nice moment. To then put in instagram and put the hare face and heart in the comments.
Yes, I do it myself.
I'm going to wash my son off the sand.And then, if I’m lucky, and I won’t fall asleep with him, I’ll post a photo of how we dug together in the sand on the beach in Gorky Park, looked at the brood of ducklings, ate ice cream in similar jeans and were happy.
In general, we really were happy.